Yep. I'm doing it again. If, through my clumsiness and lack of common sense amongst other things, I manage to provide valuable advice to someone (without them having to go through the learning process itself which is quite often painful, time consuming or embarassing) then my ramblings will have served a purpose.
So, without further ado...
1. Avoid facial exfoliant granules in the eye area at all costs. Not only is this extremeley annoying and painful, the red eye aftermath can lead to numerous stares from strangers as they try and work out whether you are a) part zombie, b) suffering from pink eye or c) just really "hiiiiiiiiiiiiigh" (seen "Knocked Up?" then you get it. If you haven't, you need to.)
2. Never get to the point where you get to thinking that you are "too cool" or "too rich" for the $2 shop. There are bargains in there beyond your wildest dreams and piles of potential just waiting for you to pick them up and get creative. I had boycotted them for a while believing them to be "full of crap". Whilst the crap:cool ratio can quite often be in favour of the former, every now and then you stumble across something fresh and funky. Just give it a go. Go on. Don't be judgmental.
3. When the strawberries in your garden are ripe, pick them immediately. Stand at the window and watch them ripen if you have to because otherwise some scheming, sneaky little bird will swoop down and devour the loveliness for themselves, leaving you with nothing but remnants of juicy red sweetness and a broken heart. (Two strawberries down....)
4. Just because you watch Project Runway does not mean you will be New Zealand's Next Top Seamstress. You will need patience and practice and nimble fingers (of which I have none). But I'm not giving up!
5. Listening to Black Rebel Motorcycle Club will actually make you feel like a superstar. Their sounds have been my theme music this week. Whether I've been hanging out washing in my pyjamas or hitting the pavement in an attempt to finish christmas shopping (note: attempt) it has been my source of inspiration. It's kinda hard not to strut while listening to them actually. (I have just now thought that maybe people weren't staring at my red eye, but rather my strutting in time with music they couldn't hear...) I strongly recommend.
6. The joy and satisfaction of eating a salad made solely with the greenery in your garden is somewhat depleted if you notice a slug on your plate just as you've taken a forkful into your mouth. Note: do not trust boyfriends to do the washing part of salad preparation.
7. No matter how many hints you drop at your boyfriend that maybe he might like to go clean shaven for a change, he will not pick them up and he will not become beardless. He will, however, if he is asked to be a unicycling clown in a christmas parade and wants to get his face painted. Boys...